#RelationshipGoals

When I was in high school I could not wait to have a boyfriend. Like many teens I wanted to have that love and romance my friends seemed to have. I would scroll through twitter and instagram and be in awe of their poised pictures and cute captions.  Looking back, I think I developed an unrealistic expectation of what a good relationship is and what it looks like. I had so many unrealistic relationship goals. I think giving validity to things based on what is portrayed on social media, is a common mistake made in this increasingly social media dependent age.

As I've grown older and entered into a relationship of my own, I've learned several things. 

First, not all guys are down to snap selfies at any given moment. Who knew that guys were just as insecure as girls when it comes to taking pictures? Second, when I was younger I longed for a man who could be my "everything." However, from my time as a disciple and now a girlfriend, I've learned that my boyfriend will never be my everything. No box of chocolates, bouquet of roses, extravagant date, or any romantic gesture could ever amount the sacrifice Christ made for me on the cross. Jesus is the one our hearts thirst for. He is the one who will give us the fulfillment we long for. It should be our goal in life to make Jesus to be our everything. While significant others have the goal of helping the person they are in love with, make Jesus the center of every part of their life.  Third, a perfect picture doesn't mean a perfect relationship. I know this seems obvious, but I really think it's something everyone should be aware of. Relationships are hard. Two imperfect humans, from completely different backgrounds, are trying to do life together. . . conflict is inevitable and perfection isn't easily attainable. Even the holiest of couples struggle to love each other and love God the way they ought. As I've navigated through my own relationship, I've realized that my perfectionist ways can put unnecessary stress on myself and my relationship. Praying about this and asking God for healing has really helped me be patient with myself and my boyfriend, as we strive to love one another as Jesus loves us. As one of my favorite Christian writers once said "We're all amateurs when it comes to love, don't be too hard on each other." -Bob Goff 

I still have a lot to learn as a college student, girlfriend, and disciple. As a young person living in an age that is obsessed with social media, I am constantly facing temptation to compare myself to others and find validity in social media rather than God. I think it's important to remember, that social media is a great tool when used correctly. But when used to boost your ego, well then you've just found yourself another way to put material things in front of your relationship with the Lord. In my own relationship, I now see that validity and stability isn't found in the number of likes and retweets, but in all that goes on offline. 

-Al

**NOTE: The purpose of this blog post isn't to discourage people from posting on social media. My goal of this blog post is to point out one of the many ways social media can be used to create unrealistic expectations and promote vanity. Don't get me wrong I love social media but I am also aware, like many things, it can be used as a source of worth for many people. In the last few months I'd noticed a lot of my friends excessively posting about their relationships, and getting worked up about the number of likes and retweets and what not. So I decided to blog about it.