#RelationshipGoals

When I was in high school I could not wait to have a boyfriend. Like many teens I wanted to have that love and romance my friends seemed to have. I would scroll through twitter and instagram and be in awe of their poised pictures and cute captions.  Looking back, I think I developed an unrealistic expectation of what a good relationship is and what it looks like. I had so many unrealistic relationship goals. I think giving validity to things based on what is portrayed on social media, is a common mistake made in this increasingly social media dependent age.

As I've grown older and entered into a relationship of my own, I've learned several things. 

First, not all guys are down to snap selfies at any given moment. Who knew that guys were just as insecure as girls when it comes to taking pictures? Second, when I was younger I longed for a man who could be my "everything." However, from my time as a disciple and now a girlfriend, I've learned that my boyfriend will never be my everything. No box of chocolates, bouquet of roses, extravagant date, or any romantic gesture could ever amount the sacrifice Christ made for me on the cross. Jesus is the one our hearts thirst for. He is the one who will give us the fulfillment we long for. It should be our goal in life to make Jesus to be our everything. While significant others have the goal of helping the person they are in love with, make Jesus the center of every part of their life.  Third, a perfect picture doesn't mean a perfect relationship. I know this seems obvious, but I really think it's something everyone should be aware of. Relationships are hard. Two imperfect humans, from completely different backgrounds, are trying to do life together. . . conflict is inevitable and perfection isn't easily attainable. Even the holiest of couples struggle to love each other and love God the way they ought. As I've navigated through my own relationship, I've realized that my perfectionist ways can put unnecessary stress on myself and my relationship. Praying about this and asking God for healing has really helped me be patient with myself and my boyfriend, as we strive to love one another as Jesus loves us. As one of my favorite Christian writers once said "We're all amateurs when it comes to love, don't be too hard on each other." -Bob Goff 

I still have a lot to learn as a college student, girlfriend, and disciple. As a young person living in an age that is obsessed with social media, I am constantly facing temptation to compare myself to others and find validity in social media rather than God. I think it's important to remember, that social media is a great tool when used correctly. But when used to boost your ego, well then you've just found yourself another way to put material things in front of your relationship with the Lord. In my own relationship, I now see that validity and stability isn't found in the number of likes and retweets, but in all that goes on offline. 

-Al

**NOTE: The purpose of this blog post isn't to discourage people from posting on social media. My goal of this blog post is to point out one of the many ways social media can be used to create unrealistic expectations and promote vanity. Don't get me wrong I love social media but I am also aware, like many things, it can be used as a source of worth for many people. In the last few months I'd noticed a lot of my friends excessively posting about their relationships, and getting worked up about the number of likes and retweets and what not. So I decided to blog about it. 

A Letter to My 14 Year Old Self

Dear 14 year old Allie,

PUT DOWN THE EYELINER
Please I'm begging you. Drop it right now. Take that dark green, purple, black, and blue eye liner and throw it away. Seriously put the eyeliner down. You're going to look back in a couple of years and cringe at the sight of 5 pounds of makeup on your face. You don't need to load your face up with makeup to be beautiful. It's not cute and it doesn't make your eyes pop or make you look older in a good way. Stop it right this instance.
Stop obsessing over boys, or the lack thereof. 
I know all of your friends have boyfriends and that they say they are in love, but they are actually not even close to knowing what true love is or experiencing the kind of love they were made for. I know you want to meet "the one" right now, and you want someone to cherish you. But having a boyfriend isn't going to solve all your problems. Having a boyfriend at 14 isn't as wonderful and magical as your friends make it out to be. (spoiler alert, your friends are going to be single again by the end of next week.) Having a boyfriend isn't going to make all your insecurities disappear. You can't expect someone to love you, if you can't even love yourself. So just take a deep breath and focus on falling in love with yourself. Be proud of who you are, and remember that you are a strong, independent, white girl, and you don't need no man.
**Besides, when you're 15, you're going to meet the love of your life. You don't know Him yet, but He knows you better than you do. He is going to change your life in more ways than you can imagine, and He is going to make you beyond happy. He is better than prince charming. . . He is the King of Kings. So just be patient!
You're not fat or ugly.
I know you're obsessed with the clothes you wear and the number on the scale. But I promise you that none of those things are going to make you feel whole or enough. Please know that whether you're a size 2 or 22 you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are enough, you are beautiful, and you are a string bean so stop worrying about your weight.
Have fun playing soccer. 
Having a bad practice or game seems like the end of the world, but I promise it's not. You're not perfect and you're going to mess up every now and then. Remember that you are suppose to be having fun. That negative mindset of yours has got to go. Just relax and enjoy the game. Stop letting yourself be overcome by anxiety and spoiling your time on the pitch. Whenever you feel frustrated, just remember that little girl who dreamed of playing select soccer and being on a travel team. You are currently livin' the dream. Be grateful for the opportunity to play, and for the talent God has blessed you with.
Keep working hard at school
Don't give up, and keep doing what you're doing. When you get to college all of your hard work is going to pay off. While all your friends are scrambling because they don't know how to study, you'll be cruising through all your classes.
Enjoy being 14
High school feels like it's going to last forever, but it's actually going to fly by. Before you know it you'll be walking across the stage to accept your diploma, packing up your room, and saying good bye to all your family and friends. Enjoy where you are right now, and cherish all the memories you're making. Don't wish you were older, because honestly being a carefree kid is something you'll never get back. I know you want to have the same experiences some of your friends do. . . but just remember, rushing certain experiences doesn't make you older or more mature. So be 14. Do normal 14 year old things. Listen to Mom and Dad, because believe it or not, they do understand and know what is best for you.

You're going to be fine kiddo. Just you wait and see.

Sincerely,

Allie

A Wake Up Call From An Angel

Something absolutely spectacular happened to me last weekend. Something that not only allowed me to unleash my inner fan girl and speak with my role model/inspiration/woman crush Wednesday, but also allowed me to get my priorities & prayer life back in order. God is SO good. . . here is one reason why!!

For the past couple months I have been experiencing quite a bit of spiritual desolation. Slowly but surely my prayer life and fire for my faith started to dwindle. These past few weeks have been especially hard for me, because I realized that I'd neglected my faith since graduating High School. Not because I was too busy, (even though my summer schedule has been jam packed with work, soccer, conditioning, and spending time with my family & friends before I leave for college) but because I fell into a trap that I think most young people do the summer before their freshman year of college. . . I decided that I wanted to have fun, more than I wanted to carry out the duties of a disciple of Christ. 
What I didn't realize is that centering your life around your faith does not mean you can't have any fun. Although making Jesus the center of your life does come with great deal of responsibility, it also comes with great adventure.
Long story short- I tried to ignore God, which didn't work out, because God refused to ignore me. Mark Hart once said "The good Shepard is faster than you. He will never stop chasing you."  I think that quote describes my relationship with God this summer lol. 

Last weekend I sat in bed all day--I had a procedure done to my foot the day prior, so I had to rest up for a few days and recover. I was having a pretty lazy day just watching Rom Coms and eating ice cream. . . Until I got a billion texts from my friends who were at my diocese's annual Catholic Youth Conference. These weren't just any texts no no no.... I was sent several pictures of my friends with my favorite traveling speaker and worship leader of all time. . . Jackie Francois Angel. Now you have to understand. . . I am a Jackie Francois Angel super fan girl. I found out about her a year and a half ago, when my youth minister posted a podcast of her and her husband speaking at a conference (S/O to Gabe),  ever since then I've been Team Jackie all the way. 

Not going to lie, I was quite jealous of all my friends who got to hang out, take selfies, and watch Jackie speak in the flesh, while I was stuck at home in bed with an injured foot. However, my day was made when one of the volunteers at my parish, who was eating lunch with Jackie, texted me and was like "hey so can you talk on the phone right now? Jackie said she'd talk with you!" and I responded back with, "YES. OF COURSE" So later on after Jackie finished eating, she called me. I gushed to her about how big of a fan I was and how much a loved her, and she laughed and said thanks lol. I thought our conversation would just be a few minutes, because I figured she would just say hi and then hand the phone back. . . but I was pleasantly surprised when she asked me about where I'm going to college and what career I was interested in. I happily told her that I wanted to pursue a career in youth ministry and, God willing, become a traveling speaker just like her. She offered me some great advice and encouraging words that I'll hold onto as I pursue my dream. We then talked about blogs (Although I failed to mention that I have one because I got caught up in telling her how much I admired her and her husband's blog), and lifeteen, and mission work, and other random things until she had to go take a nap.  After I finished talking to Jackie, I may have hyperventilated and sobbed for a bit. . . I mean what else is a girl suppose to do after talking on the phone for 10 minutes with her hero? 

After I calmed down a bit I prayed, and thanked God for the opportunity to talk with Jackie. At some point during prayer I started to think about my future, and it dawned on me that the path I was currently on would not get me to my goal. Even though I wasn't out being rebellious and committing serious sin, my life was not centered around Jesus. 
When we center our lives around things that are not Jesus, we open ourselves up to sin. Once we open the door to sin, we can end up on a path that will not lead us to where God wills for us to be. I realized that if I was serious about pursuing a career in youth ministry, I needed to start taking on the responsibilities of a disciple. 
I sat there for a while, and asked myself what would Jackie do if she found herself in my situation, and decided that I needed to schedule in some time with Jesus in Confession. 

The Jackie Francois Angel

By the grace of God I did make it to reconciliation, and was able to spend an hour and a half in a small adoration chapel by my house. I'm still amazed by the power of the Holy Spirit and how He uses circumstances and unlikely situations to teach us the truth. We are truly blessed to have such a wonderful and caring God, who pursues us even when we give up on Him.  Like I said earlier- making Jesus the center of your life does come with great deal of responsibility, but it also comes with great adventure. We just have to be patient, buckle up, and let Jesus be our tour guide through this life. 


-Al 


"Sin is a demon lurking at the door. His urge is toward you, yet you can be his master."

P.S.

Here is the link to Jackie and her husband Bobby's blog: http://jackieandbobby.com/

P.S.S
The volunteer who helped me connect with Jackie, blogged about his experience meeting Jackie Bobby. Check it out! http://en-fuego.blogspot.com/2014/07/meeting-two-angels.html

My Lenten Journey: LESSONS LEARNED

Happy Sunday everyone!!
 I meant to post this last week… but I was way too busy celebrating the Resurection! Anyways, I wanted to take a moment to talk about the stuff I learned through my Lenten Journey. I got a lot out of Lent this year, because I actually stuck to all my Lenten promises and got to do some pretty rad spiritual activities. So here is what I learned this time around:

     1. I complain an awful lot- A few weeks ago I was talking to my youth minister, and I'm not sure why, but I suddenly became very aware of the fact that I complain ALL the time. Even on great days, I'll find something to be upset about. I find that I whine to my friends almost daily, about "how tired I am" or  pout about little things that aren't that big of a deal. Upon praying about this, I've come to realize that people today always have something to be ungrateful for. Which is really a sad thing because most of us, myself included, don't know what real struggle is. Complaining is the norm in my world, and I've decided that I need to change that and learn how to be more grateful. So I've decided that everyday I will write down 5 different things that I am grateful for. I hope that by doing so I will 1.) stop complaining so much and 2.) regardless of how I'm feeling, I hope to look back at my day and see that God is good and always working in my life.

    2. Sometimes I can be a little too goofy- I absolutely love being my extroverted crazy self. Being extroverted definitely has it's benefits, and I've been blessed with some amazing opportunities, as a result of being so social and bubbly. However, lately I've been noticing that sometimes I can get caught up in being goofy and outgoing, and forget that I need to be real and wounded. I noticed this when I went on a retreat at the beginning of Lent- where I had the opportunity to give a testimony. I felt Jesus calling me to talk about my struggles with emotional chastity, which was very difficult for me. I didn't try and be silly or funny. I just spoke from my heart. It felt weird at first, because humor often calms my nerves, and I even questioned whether or not I articulated myself well enough. But I was pleasantly surprised after my talk, when a couple of guys came up to me and asked me questions about chastity and how to live a pure life. PRAISE GOD! Later that night, during prayer, I realized that sometimes I need to be modest, and know when it's appropriate to be a goof-ball, and when it's appropriate to be my wounded self.   

Group of teens from my parish that went on the retreat with me! #SEASSWAG

     3. Carmelite Monasteries are pretty swagtastic- The first week of Lent, I went on a silent retreat at a Carmelite Monastery with my friends Jason and Torrey. Originally I wasn't planning on going. . . but I guess God REALLY wanted me to go, because He ended up pushing me to change up my busy schedule so I could go. The retreat consisted of 3 meditations, mass, and benediction- and allowed me to rest in God in a way I'd never rested in Him before. Prior to coming to the monastery, I had this idea of what it takes for someone to be a Carmelite nun- introvert, painfully shy, lover of the indoors. However, my mind was changed through resting in Jesus. It was a peaceful experience, that opened my eyes to the beauty of being a Carmelite. I don't know if God is calling me to that vocation, we'll have to seen, however it certainly helped appreciate my sisters who are, in the words of my friend Angela, "willing prisoners for God."

     4. The promise of the crucifix- Palm Sunday one of my favorite priests said something beautiful during his homily, that really opened my eyes to what the crucifix promises to all Christians. He said "When you look up at the cross, and see our Lord beaten and dying, do not be saddened. Because the cross is a promise to us, that God will give everything He has out of love for us. This promise is fulfilled by the Eucharist." Before hearing that I'd never made that connection between the crucifix and the Eucharist. I'm really grateful that God opened my eyes to that connection, through His priest, before Holy week. Meditating upon that promise really helped me look at the Crucifixion in a whole new way. Praise Jesus!!

     5. The Easter Vigil Mass is FANTASTIC- This year I was asked to be the Godmother of a sweet middle schooler, named Madison. I had no clue what the Easter Vigil was, before last Saturday. . . So not only did I get to witness the Easter Vigil for the first time ever, but I actually got to participate in the mass in a unique was which was so rad. Watching my Goddaughter, and the others candidates, receive the Sacraments of Initiation was beautiful, and a memory I shall cherish in my heart forever! Now that I have witnessed the loveliness, that is the Easter Vigil, I plan on attending every year because it's SO worth of time. (*If y'all could keep my Goddaughter in your prayers I would SO appreciate it!)

My Goddaughter Madison and I 

I could go on and on and on about other things I learned during Lent, but I'm afraid that would be a terribly long post. I hope y'all had a successful Lent! May the joy of the Resurrection fill your hearts with fire and Holy desire! He has risen! Alleluia!

In His Love,

Al 

My Lenten Journey

Hello everyone! It has been quite a while since I've blogged. Life has been incredibly busy over the last 2 months for this Cathlete!!

It's hard to believe that Lent is finally here!! For the next 47 days I'm going on what I like to call a spiritual diet. Lent is a time in which we cleanse ourself of impurities. A time in which we step back and look closer at our spiritual life, and ask ourselves what can we do to grow closer to our Lord. So here is what I am giving up/doing to grow spiritually this lent:

1. Bread
2. Sweets
3. Listening to music in the car
4. Twitter/instagrm
5. Pray a rosary every day 
6. Meditate on the scripture 30-hour every day

I'm really nervous for Lent this year, because giving up sweets, bread, and jamming in the car for 47 days is going to be so hard... Like I actually don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

At the same time I am super excited to give up these things, because this will be a huge opportunity for me to lean on Christ and experience a really small amount of His sufferings on the cross! I pray that through my Lenten journey, I'll have a stronger relationship to Jesus in the Eucharist and become a more charitable daughter of God. I can't wait to grow closer to my Love<3

Last week one of my friends asked me what I was giving up for lent. When I showed him my list he gave me this awkward look and said, "Man Allie, now I feel like a bad person for just giving up one thing for Lent." I brushed it off at the time, and told him that wasn't true, but after thinking about his comment I've come to realize something about Lent. Each of us have the opportunity to undergo our own spiritual transformation during this time of the liturgical year, and sacrifice different things in order to become a better version of ourselves. Lent is not about quantity, it is about quality. I am called to give up/do the things on my list, because I feel that this is the best way for me to improve my spiritual life. Maybe my list is longer than yours, or maybe your list is longer than mine. It doesn't really matter what you're giving up for Lent, as long as you are "denying your flesh, and making more room for God." Jesus will smile at you as you carry your cross. We all have a different paths to take in life, but we all have the same goal which is holiness. So let us all strive to find our meaning in God and not things of this earth as much as we can, so that one day, we might all be united with our Lord in Heaven. Let us all be reminded, through Lent, that God is the only way to the eternal life.

God Bless you all.


-Al




Watch this!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5bfxGNMY9c

The Reason for the Season

Every year Christmas rolls around, we often get into a groove of traveling, shopping, wrapping, and baking. I found myself in this groove once again after school let out for winter break. In the 5 days leading up to Christmas my schedule was filled shopping and cooking. ( Side note: I spend Christmas in Michigan, so traveling and visiting family is also added into my already busy schedule.)

I didn't realize how crazy busy I'd been, until I had time to be still at Christmas Eve mass. After receiving the Eucharist I reflected on the days leading up to Christmas. I realized that I had neglected prayer and my Advent meditations during my time up North.... But the whole time I was busy shopping, and cooking, and wrapping presents, Jesus was waiting for me to come and spend some time with Him. It's comforting to know that no mater where life takes us, Jesus is always with us. 

Meditation: How often do you get caught up in daily life, and neglect your relationship with God? Are you making time for prayer? Are your thoughts directed towards Christ? Do you offer each day up to God?

Later that night, my family and I were opening Christmas presents before bed--No worries, it was past midnight so technically it was early Christmas morning. 

As I opened my gifts I was in a weird mood, because I didn't get EXACTLY what I wanted. I wasn't disappointed, because my gifts weren't bad at all, in fact I got some pretty great gifts (Thanks Mom & Dad ilysm). I asked myself, why my heart was so restless.... I was in my favorite state, surrounded by family, with gifts other kids could only dream of receiving....

I laid down that night and thought about my discomfort and my thoughts from mass, and finally made sense of my restless heart.

Although watches, sweaters, iPods, and gift cards are great to have, Heaven is WAY better. All too often, we get caught up trying to make Christmas absolutely perfect, and forget about the reason for the season. We try to get the best presents for our family, cook the most elegant meals, and decorate our houses better than our neighbors-but sometimes things don't go the way we want them. Pies burn, lights short circuit, your little brother hates the toy car you bought him. We are often left wondering, where the joy is in Christmas is if things don't go according to plan?

Well let me tell ya, eternal joy is not  found in presents or pie, but in Jesus Christ. For example.....

Look at the Blessed Virgin Mary, 9 months pregnant, in a foreign city, with no where to have her baby boy. She was probably stressed out, wondering how on earth she was going to care for her baby, the Son of God. But she didn't lose faith. She knew that the birth of her son wouldn't be the way she'd hoped for, but it would all be okay because God was watching over her. And what'll you know, everything did turn out grand! Christ our Savior was born, and Mary's fears were crushed by God's awesome plan! What a great example to Christians everywhere. How often do we get frustrated in the face of our fears? I find myself looking to Mary a lot when I'm anxious, because I think that her faith in the face of fear is what we should all strive for. 

"But Mary kept all these things, pondering them in her heart." 

 (Luke 2:19)

Sometimes things are hectic and we neglect to give Christ the attention He deserves. Sometimes things don't go the way we planned. But God only gives us what we need and can handle. We can learn from the Gospel, that God can turn a seemingly awful situation, into an awesome situation. Christmas isn't about the presents we receive or the food we devour, it's about being thankful for the fact that Christ came down from Heaven to free His brothers and sisters from their sins, so that they might be happy with Him in the next life. Maybe you don't get the gold necklace you wanted, maybe you left the turkey in the oven too long, maybe things didn't go according to plan. Whatever the situation is, praise God. Because the gift of Heaven is the greatest gift of all. 

Rejoice! Our Savior was born, and saved us from Sin! Be mindful of the Reason for the Season, and have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! Praying for you all!!

-Al

The Victoria's Secret Objectification Show

Most girls around this time of year are boiling over with excitement for the highly anticipated Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. I can't tell you how many tweets and instagram pictures I've see from girls gushing over how beautiful the models are, and how excited they are to watch the show. Even after the show is over girls continue to post about the models' endless legs, flawless hair, and perfect curves. Unlike most girls, I find the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show absolutely insulting and degrading to women. Why? 

1. The most obvious reason is that the models are strutting around in their underwear and bra on live television. Try to think of one great reason why it is okay for a woman to do that. . . Oh wait. . . there is no good reason for anyone to do that. I know this is the 21st century, but that does not give anyone an excuse to parade around in the undergarments. Lets keep it classy folks. 
2. The show distorts the image of beauty. Before, during, and after the VS Fashion show I hear a lot of girls complain about how they wish they could be like the models they see on TV. Girls get this idea in their head that in order for guys to notice they need to dress immodestly. However, immodesty doesn't make women more appealing. In fact, dressing immodestly defiles some of the beauty God gave women. Humans are unlike any other creature on earth because God gave us a living soul, which is far more beautiful and precious than physical attractiveness. God took lots of time to make you who you are, and He didn't make any mistakes when He created you. By dressing immodestly you are not living up to the awesome creation that God made you to be. When a woman dresses modestly it protects the dignity God gave her. Oh and if someone only likes you because you are physically attractive, and can't appreciate the fact that you are a stunning creation of God inside and out, then they aren't worth your time. You deserve better. 
3. We must help our brothers in Christ. Dressing immodestly (or half naked in the case of the Victoria's Secret Models) causes men to degrade a woman from a person to a "thing." In fact there was a study done by Princeton University that actually proved, that when a woman shows lots of skin, the part of the male brain that sees a woman as a person shuts off, and the part of the male brain that is associated with the use of objects turns on. The VS fashion show is an invitation to men all around the world to come and objectify women free of charge. When girls go crazy with the tweets, instagram pictures, and get excited for the show, they send a message to men that it is okay to use a woman for pleasure. When we endorse the VS Fashion show, or immodesty for that matter, we give men the go ahead to feed into temptation and lust over women. When lust enters the heart of an individual, it simply does not stop when the TV goes off or the magazine gets put away, the sin continues to aggressively pursue our brothers in Christ. Not only is this unfair to women, because now we're being objectified, but it is also unfair to men. As daughters of Christ we are called to help our brothers get to Heaven. By not challenging men to be better men we are failing to be our brother's keeper, and failing to be the bold women Christ challenges us to be. 
4. The exposition of the female body unveils a mystery only meant to be unveiled by one person. I think we can all agree that the female body is the most beautiful creature on the planet. This is by no accident. In fact, women are referred to as the "crown of God's creation." God created women to be physically attractive to reflect His own image and likeness, not just because God was bored one day and needed something to do. He did not intend for women to go around and flaunt their goods, and get used up like extra change. God meant for His gorgeous daughters to preserve the mystery of their beauty, and reveal it one day in the context of marriage in order to reflect the relationship of God and humanity. God meant for his daughters to be cherished and loved by a man who respects her dignity and values her worth. By parading around in their bras and panties, the VS models are revealing a gift that should only be unwrapped by one person; their husband. 

We live in a society in which immodesty and objectivity are encouraged, but as Christians it is our duty to stand up for what's right even if we face opposition. As children of God, we don't need people to affirm our looks to make us feel secure. All we need to know to feel secure is that Christ loved each and every one of us so much that He died for us, so that one day we could be united with Him in Heaven. So this year cancel that recording and choose not to watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion. Instead, go spend some time with our Lord, and let Him tell you how beautiful you are. Let Him reassure you of your worth. Let Him cleanse your heart. Let Him love you. Challenge yourself this Advent, to see the dignity and worth in every person you encounter. . . Especially yourself! Do not neglect to acknowledge the fact that you are worthy of love.

"People were created to be loved

Things were created to be used

The reason why the world is in chaos, 

is because things are being loved 

and people are being used."

-Al 

P.S. 

Here a link for more information about the study Princeton University did: 

http://www.colleenhammond.com/dressing-with-dignity/science-proves-men-think-of-immodestly-dressed-women-as-objects/

Oh and here is a great video about modesty by Jason Evert:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYF6lt_Y67Q